This is a 'wait before you proceed' sign . Just in case you are
looking for a one stop solution to all your problems, this is not for
you . Neither am I revealing my secrets to handling problems . It might
seem extremely funny for a twenty year old to talk about dealing with
problems . My language teachers never promoted the use of short message
services , yet I am so tempted to put a LOL here just so that my friends not find it a grandma's talk.
For those close to me know well how I stay not-so-freaked out when I ought to be and how I choose to breakdown over tiny things just so I can let go of all that negative energy.Now my first job goes into differentiating the 'big' and 'tiny' problems. Well the last time I broke down was over three emu egg shells I got during a study trip and lost them before I could get them home. Now the big things lie on the other extreme of the spectrum.
I am not this successful woman in life with a half century old experience in life. But from whatever little life has offered me and taken from me I sure do know all that is necessary to confront that monster which without invitations. You need a big smile and a heart without tachycardia.
I have had friends telling me I was qualified enough to be a self-styled ' God-woman' when they know how I stay calm with a tsunami ahead. I realised few people would like the idea of a God-woman in denim who behaves normal otherwise. So I dropped the idea(I wish I could put a LOL here but for those English grammar classes which taught me not to).
Most people have come to me with this serious problem. 'I don't know what's wrong. I'm so depressed'. Basically one just feels on one not-so-fine morning that all the world is against him or her , or that God is unhappy with him or her only , or like a hundred mice causing chaos in the brain.This is what ends up in a 'nice' you turning into a 'terrible' you to people and things(by which I intend the crockery and books and phone).
The first step is -find the problem...wht my computer calls troubleshooting. Scan through what you are trying to think.At first you will see a jig-saw puzzle in your head.Now instead of trying to pick up your problems try eliminating what is not your problem. This is just the same way we have done all those multiple choice questions which we did not know the answers to. Focus on something that pops up in your mind. Ask yourself if you like that thought or not. If you do, eliminate this option. If you don't ask yourself how long ago this thought was buried within you and if this is the right time to tackle it. This is an important step since old, forgotten tales get remakes and sequel when you have something else bothering you. If you decide it needs to handled, do it in the 'now' moment. There's no better time.Sometimes it can be put in the attic and dug up later during a self introspection.Once you have eliminated quite a lot of unnecessary files from your recycle bin, you will have a countable number of things bothering you. List them one by one. Check if each is worth all that time you are spending on it. If none is worth , you have done it ..go pose for your next facebook profile picture. If the problems are worth your time start an autopsy right away. Have a mental chronological order of events ready. Look at the most recent one. If this problem had not come up would you still have been going through all those mood disorders. If your mind says yes then this is not it. Repeat this till you reach that one problem that was your stimulus to your 'reflex action'. Finding your problem is like getting a map to a treasure hunt. It just makes things easier.
Just one thing you need to avoid once you realise what you problem is-crying and freaking out. Why? It is way too simple. One, it does not help. Two , it does not help. Three, it does not help at all.
Once I had this problem in front of me . The last ray of hope also seemed to be dimming down.When this last ray disappeared, I thought I would break down.Eyes were so close to crying. I thought I should cry. So did everybody else. I mean that's what people normally do.Out of the blue it struck me- Is this at all going to help me?. It was a rhetorical question. My next question was-What next? My next step was trying to handle the situation and problem. To put it across simply I was just being practical. It worked - Problem solved.
Now where to apply this? Well friends have come to me with all sorts of problems of all degrees...starting from handling stress to relationships to serious one. One situation was like this-a friend's mom had passed away. Her father had another family even when she was alive and he did nothing to support her or her mother.But after the mother died all finances transferred to her father since she wasn't eighteen yet. Even in such situations you could help yourself, but make sure you do take expert advice when necessary like here a lawyer's.
My attitude is just this. There is this monster who wants to make you cry and freak out.Just don't make him happy.Smile at him he will shy away.Make him happy and he will want to bother you more.
For those close to me know well how I stay not-so-freaked out when I ought to be and how I choose to breakdown over tiny things just so I can let go of all that negative energy.Now my first job goes into differentiating the 'big' and 'tiny' problems. Well the last time I broke down was over three emu egg shells I got during a study trip and lost them before I could get them home. Now the big things lie on the other extreme of the spectrum.
I am not this successful woman in life with a half century old experience in life. But from whatever little life has offered me and taken from me I sure do know all that is necessary to confront that monster which without invitations. You need a big smile and a heart without tachycardia.
I have had friends telling me I was qualified enough to be a self-styled ' God-woman' when they know how I stay calm with a tsunami ahead. I realised few people would like the idea of a God-woman in denim who behaves normal otherwise. So I dropped the idea(I wish I could put a LOL here but for those English grammar classes which taught me not to).
Most people have come to me with this serious problem. 'I don't know what's wrong. I'm so depressed'. Basically one just feels on one not-so-fine morning that all the world is against him or her , or that God is unhappy with him or her only , or like a hundred mice causing chaos in the brain.This is what ends up in a 'nice' you turning into a 'terrible' you to people and things(by which I intend the crockery and books and phone).
The first step is -find the problem...wht my computer calls troubleshooting. Scan through what you are trying to think.At first you will see a jig-saw puzzle in your head.Now instead of trying to pick up your problems try eliminating what is not your problem. This is just the same way we have done all those multiple choice questions which we did not know the answers to. Focus on something that pops up in your mind. Ask yourself if you like that thought or not. If you do, eliminate this option. If you don't ask yourself how long ago this thought was buried within you and if this is the right time to tackle it. This is an important step since old, forgotten tales get remakes and sequel when you have something else bothering you. If you decide it needs to handled, do it in the 'now' moment. There's no better time.Sometimes it can be put in the attic and dug up later during a self introspection.Once you have eliminated quite a lot of unnecessary files from your recycle bin, you will have a countable number of things bothering you. List them one by one. Check if each is worth all that time you are spending on it. If none is worth , you have done it ..go pose for your next facebook profile picture. If the problems are worth your time start an autopsy right away. Have a mental chronological order of events ready. Look at the most recent one. If this problem had not come up would you still have been going through all those mood disorders. If your mind says yes then this is not it. Repeat this till you reach that one problem that was your stimulus to your 'reflex action'. Finding your problem is like getting a map to a treasure hunt. It just makes things easier.
Just one thing you need to avoid once you realise what you problem is-crying and freaking out. Why? It is way too simple. One, it does not help. Two , it does not help. Three, it does not help at all.
Once I had this problem in front of me . The last ray of hope also seemed to be dimming down.When this last ray disappeared, I thought I would break down.Eyes were so close to crying. I thought I should cry. So did everybody else. I mean that's what people normally do.Out of the blue it struck me- Is this at all going to help me?. It was a rhetorical question. My next question was-What next? My next step was trying to handle the situation and problem. To put it across simply I was just being practical. It worked - Problem solved.
Now where to apply this? Well friends have come to me with all sorts of problems of all degrees...starting from handling stress to relationships to serious one. One situation was like this-a friend's mom had passed away. Her father had another family even when she was alive and he did nothing to support her or her mother.But after the mother died all finances transferred to her father since she wasn't eighteen yet. Even in such situations you could help yourself, but make sure you do take expert advice when necessary like here a lawyer's.
My attitude is just this. There is this monster who wants to make you cry and freak out.Just don't make him happy.Smile at him he will shy away.Make him happy and he will want to bother you more.
